The Two Lists
Lately, I’ve been feeling a mix of emotions that are hard to name. On the one hand, the markets are strong, my health feels the best it has been in a long time, and I have real momentum heading into the end of the year. At the same time, I’m deeply aware of how many terrible things are happening in the world, and of clients and friends who are facing serious health issues right now. It’s a strange feeling—to be grateful and worried at the same time.
I was sharing this experience with a group of friends over dinner, and one of them spoke up. “You need to do my Thanksgiving writing project. I call it The Two Lists. Every November, I take out two sheets of paper. On one I write, ‘What’s Hard Right Now.’ On the other, ‘What’s Good Right Now.’”
She shared with me that she’s done exercise for years. It’s her way of giving both sides of her life a seat at the table.
Let’s face it, pretending everything’s perfect doesn’t help anyone—but noticing what’s good right now can help us stay grounded when life feels uncertain.
Her exercise and the intent behind it really stuck with me. This is the time of the year when we’re all trying to slow down and be thankful. Simultaneously, we’re aware that things feel heavy. For example, your Thanksgiving table might look different than it used to: Maybe there’s going to be an empty chair in honor of someone who’s no longer here this year. Maybe your family dynamics have shifted, or one of your kids is spending time with their in-laws this Thanksgiving instead of with you. And yet—there’s still so much to be grateful for.
Both things can be true.
If you were to make your own Two Lists, maybe yours would look something like this:
What’s Hard Right Now
Reading the headlines and feeling that mix of worry and helplessness.
Watching your kids or grandkids navigate their own challenges and wishing you could make things easier for them.
Missing someone whose voice used to fill the room.
Managing work and family responsibilities when your days already feel too short.
Wanting to donate more to nonprofit organizations right now, but questioning whether your gift will make a meaningful difference.
What’s Good
Watching football on a crisp fall Sunday afternoon in your sweats, snuggled up on the living room couch.
The yummy smell of something in the oven and knowing that the recipe has been in your family for generations.
A text from a friend who checks in “just because,” and their timing is perfect.
The relief of knowing your commitment to your financial plan is working right now, which gives you one less thing to worry about.
The laughter that sneaks in during dessert when family members start telling the same old stories again—and somehow, they’re still funny!
If The Two Lists idea resonates with you, take a few minutes this week to write down yours. Give some honest thought to what’s hard right now—not to dwell on it, but to acknowledge it. Sometimes just naming it takes away its power. Then, write what’s still good. Big things, little things, the stuff you might overlook on an ordinary Wednesday.
When you see both lists side by side, you realize how much you’re carrying—and at the same time, how much is steady and strong in your life.
As you look around your table this Thanksgiving—whether it’s full, quiet, familiar, or brand new—my wish is that you find peace in both lists. Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about remembering that even in uncertain times, there’s still so much good to notice… and hopefully even more to look forward to in the New Year.
This Week’s Cool Ideas & Resources
Looking for a Good Show to Watch This Holiday Season?
If you haven’t seen it yet, From Scratch is a beautifully made limited series starring Zoë Saldaña that’s all about love, loss, and finding beauty in imperfection. It’s heartfelt without being too heavy — and it reminds you to savor the moments that make life meaningful (not to mention it’ll make you want to travel to Italy for an Italian feast!)
Try This at Your Thanksgiving Table
Create a Gratitude Bowl: Pass a small bowl around the table before dinner. Each person takes a slip of paper and writes down something (or someone) they’re grateful for this year, folds it up, and drops it in. After dessert, pull them out one by one and read them aloud — anonymously or not. It’s simple, it’s quick, and it always leads to laughter and a few happy tears. Kids also love this exercise. (PS: it tends to be less stressful for the introverts who dread going around the table to say out loud what they’re thankful for!)
Break from Thanksgiving Tradition: Make These Lemon Mashed Potatoes
Bright, creamy, and just a little unexpected — these lemon mashed potatoes cut through the heaviness of a Thanksgiving plate and pair perfectly with turkey and stuffing!
Ingredients:
3 lbs. Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks.
½ cup extra virgin olive oil (or mix half oil, half butter)
½ cup warm milk or cream
Zest of 1 large lemon
2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
2 Tbsp chopped chives (or parsley)
Salt & pepper to taste.
Directions:
Boil potatoes in salted water until tender, for about 15 minutes. Drain well.
Mash with olive oil (and/or butter) until smooth.
Stir in warm milk or cream, lemon zest, and juice.
Season generously with salt and pepper. Fold in chives right before serving.
I’m telling you, these are light, bright, and the perfect reminder that gratitude doesn’t have to be complicated — sometimes it’s as simple as sharing a bowl of something lemony and warm!
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